“We got her on the dance floor in her wheelchair,” Diane says with a smile. “She just loved it.”
In that moment, Erma was surrounded by her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, swaying gently as music played at her granddaughter Alison’s wedding in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was a scene they’d once only dared to imagine.
But making this possible took planning, determination, and a lot of support from Erma’s family and the Hospice of the Piedmont team.
A Promise to Keep
A year ago, when Alison announced her wedding date, she told her grandmother Erma, “Grandma, you gotta work hard so you can get to the wedding.” For Erma, that promise became a goal—a reason to push forward through the challenges of Lewy body dementia and congestive heart failure.
A coal miner’s daughter from West Virginia, Erma was no stranger to hard work.
After a fall left her struggling to walk, she spent months regaining her strength. “We kept talking about the wedding,” recalls her daughter, Diane. “‘Oh, the wedding is just a few more months away. We gotta get stronger for Allison and Cameron’s wedding.’” Every 90 minutes, Erma would get up to “do laps” around the house, determined to be there for her granddaughter’s big day.
Planning for the Trip
As the date approached, Diane was faced with a tough decision. Traveling from their Virginia home to Myrtle Beach was daunting. “She had not been on a trip in almost a year,” Diane says. “She hadn’t been out other than to go to the doctor.”
Social Worker
Erma’s diagnoses made daily tasks challenging, and she now required assistance with everything from bathing to eating. Diane reached out to Kathryn, Erma’s social worker at Hospice of the Piedmont, who didn’t hesitate to help.
Kathryn began calling hospices in Myrtle Beach, hoping to arrange what’s known as a travel contract. After several attempts, she finally connected with a hospice willing to assist. “I could literally kiss that hospice,” Kathryn says. “They went above and beyond.”
In the days leading up to the trip, Erma’s hospice team came together to provide all the support Diane and her mother needed. Shamika, Erma’s hospice aide, even arrived early on the day of the trip to bathe and prepare Erma for the journey. “She’s been a real blessing to our family,” Diane says. “She always makes my mom feel like a queen when she leaves here.”
CNA
Thanks to the travel contract, a hospital bed, Hoyer lift, and oxygen equipment were waiting in Erma’s hotel room when they arrived. “It was amazing,” Diane recalls. “The hotel let the hospice get in the room early, so they had everything set up when we walked in.”
Settling In: A Family Reunion Before the Big Day
Diane and Erma arrived in Myrtle Beach several days before the wedding, allowing Erma time to rest after the long drive. But the days before the wedding quickly turned into a family reunion. Relatives arrived from all over, turning Erma’s room into a gathering place.
“Everybody just came into the condo we were staying in and just partied with grandma,” Diane recalls. “It was like a family reunion and wedding all rolled up into one.”
For Diane, the time spent with her mother during those days was especially precious. “It was so fun to be on the trip with her because we prepared for this a year in advance and talked about all the people that were coming,” she says. “Then, every day, she would say to people who came in, ‘I didn’t know you were coming.’”
While those moments were joyful, they required planning and patience that Diane took on gladly. “She doesn’t even realize what it takes to care for her, which I’m thankful for,” Diane reflects. “She doesn’t think she’s a burden. She just looks around at all the equipment and says, ‘Well, there sure is a lot of stuff in here.’” Diane keeps things light by jokingly blaming her husband, “He’s such a heavy packer.”
A Wedding to Remember
On the wedding day, Erma arrived at the venue in her wheelchair, ready to celebrate. “Everything was special,” she recalls. “People getting together. They haven’t seen each other for a long time.”
For Alison, having her grandmother there meant everything. The day after the wedding, she and her new husband spent the entire day with Erma at the hotel.
“Erma said, ‘Well, this is your first day as a married couple. Shouldn’t y’all be out doing something?’ And they said, ‘No, we planned just to stay and hang out with you, Grandma,’” Diane recalls. “She loved that.”
The Afterglow of Family Connection
After the wedding, the joy continued. Back home in Virginia, Diane suggested her mom call friends to share her adventure. She knew how much dementia had taken from her mother’s once-chatty personality. “She used to be a huge talker on the phone, but dementia has taken that from her. She doesn’t know what to say anymore,” Diane says.
To help her mother reconnect with friends, Diane sat with Erma, suggesting names and helping her dial numbers. One call was to her best friend, a 96-year-old woman back in West Virginia. “She talked to her for over an hour about everything,” Diane says, smiling at the memory.
It was a rare chance for Erma to connect with friends and share a story. “It was so sweet for me to hear her recall the trip,” Diane says. “She couldn’t tell you what time she was in, but she could say, ‘I was at Alison’s wedding.’ It was beautiful.”
RN Case Manager
Kasie, her nurse, noticed the difference immediately when she saw her for the first time after her trip. “She was glowing when I walked in. Seeing her pictures, watching her videos, and seeing her light up about it just melted my heart,” she says. “Hospice isn’t always about the sad things; it’s also about making dreams come true.”
Reflections on Hospice Care
For Diane, the experience has changed her view of hospice care. “I always thought hospice was just for the very end of life… like you were my last call,” she says. “But it’s actually about quality of life. It brought such a quality of life back to Mom, and to our family.”
As an example, Diane remembers the spiritual support Erma received from her Chaplain, Denise. During her visits, Denise and Erma would sing the old hymns that Erma loved. Denise’s presence helped Erma find peace, and her conversations with Erma about heaven reminded her that “this isn’t the end,” giving her strength as she looks ahead.
When asked what advice she’d give other hospice patients, Erma says, “I think they would feel so much better after doing something with their family. It makes you feel good knowing they are there with you.”
Looking Forward to the Next Milestone
As the holidays approach, Erma and her family are looking forward to their next gathering—Christmas.
“They’re having all the families come to their house for Christmas this year, so they’re looking forward to Christmas,” says Kasie. “They keep trying to make things happen to give her something to look forward to. I love living that way.”
Diane echoes this mindset, cherishing the importance of finding joy in every moment, especially as they navigate Erma’s memory loss. “Even though she’s forgotten a conversation we had an hour ago, we just try and find joy in it. We laugh a lot. That’s what’s gotten us through. That’s the most important thing. Just being together, the love that we have for one another, and the laughter and the joy.”
For Erma’s family, each milestone is a new chance to create memories together. This Christmas, they’ll gather around her once again, sharing stories, laughter, and gratitude for the time they have.
“Just because you have a diagnosis doesn’t mean life is over,” Diane says. “There’s still a lot of life to live. And so we try to focus on maintaining a good quality of life and enjoying the time God has given us.”
Hospice of the Piedmont’s support has been essential in making these moments possible, but it’s the strength and love of Erma’s family that shine brightest—proof that life, even with its challenges, is still filled with reasons to celebrate.
